


Cherish Cherish

by Quinn_F



Category: Glee
Genre: Best Friends, Duet, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-11
Updated: 2018-12-15
Packaged: 2019-09-16 06:16:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 12,872
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16948569
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Quinn_F/pseuds/Quinn_F
Summary: (Who? You!) Can't get away I won't let you,Ooh... (Who? You!)I could never forget toCherish is the word I use to remind me of(Your love!)We finished the song and everyone cheered on.I thanked everyone and excused myself to go to the restroom, because I was suddenly unable to hold the tears any longer.I went without thinking twice of closing the door but turned the faucet to let them know that the room was occupied.When I started to crumble down in front of the mirror, I heard a gasp, I turned around to see her stunned face."Was that song for me?"





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This was a story I made in fanfiction.net and improved it. My writing then sucked, and I think it had improved now so I decided to rewrite one of my first work of fanfiction.

Cherish -rewritten from ff.net

On Valentine'sx Breadstixx was rearranged as the "Sugar Shack" complete with a makeshift stage. The place was exclusively closed down by Mr. Mota, because Sugar whined to her dad about it. She also even hired the God Squad to sing for the night.

After Joe and Sam got the stage ready, we had a small huddle about the line-up, this gave enough money for a few Sunday church school and we are very excited in making a show for it.

Sugar listed off the many freebies her father so generously gave, and reminded that her father is not in the mafia.

"And next up, straight from heaven above, give it up for the God Squad!" Sugar introduced us to their friends.

"Hi, my name is Joe, Santana Lopez asked if the God Squad can sing a love song for Brittany S. Pierce... AAand after thinking and praying I knew that there was only one answer..." he paused dramatically before continuing "Absolutely!" Joe excitedly announced.

I would've yelled, saved the dramatics, but she looked so happy, Santana was happy.

Joe coax us to fix the stage whilst he came up to Santana's table, we waited for him to finish as it is also my cue. "Love is love, man... so here's for Brittany from Santana"

The band started of the song with a few keys before my prompt to sing the first lines.

_Cherish is the word I use to describe  
All the feeling that I have hiding here for you inside_

I went through the choreography and stepped off the stage, looked across the stage trying to avoid where she was seated with Brittany whom she was making cow eyes at.

Sam and Joe sang the next lines with me.

_You don't know how many times_  
I've wished that I had told you (Cherish the thought)  
You don't know how many times  
I've wished that I could hold you (Cherish the thought)  
You don't know how many times  
I've wished that I could  
Mold you into someone who could  
Cherish the thought, Of always having you  
Here by my side... Oh, baby I... 

I saw her looked back at me and for a moment we held each other's gaze. She shied away a few seconds after and when she looked back at me again, I just lost it.

I tried singing the song without looking at her, which was hard because we had to come up to their table as part of the choreography, and the fact that it was practically my solo (and the rest were only singing back-up, _you're their best friend_ they say as a reason that I had to do it) anyway.

_Perish is the word that more than applies_  
To the hope in my heart each time I realize  
Oooh...  
(sang with Joe and Sam)  
You don't know how many times  
I've wished that I had told you (Cherish the thought)  
You don't know how many times  
I've wished that I could hold you (Cherish the thought)  
You don't know how many times  
I've wished that I could  
Mold you into someone who could  
Cherish the thought, Of always having you  
Here by my side... Oh, baby I... 

Singing the next two lines was particularly hard, because Brittany sees it in my eyes; she feels it in Santana's grip and sudden shortness in breath. She noticed and yet ignored it and held my gaze as if telling me _She chose me, move on!_

_(Who? You!) Can't get away I won't let you,_  
Ooh... (Who? You!)  
I could never forget to  
Cherish is the word I use to remind me of  
(Your love!) 

Thankfully Cedes was at my back and noticed the glaring war happening and took over the lead vocals of the song, which saved me a few minutes to turn around enough to wipe the tear that dropped from my eyes.

We finished the song and everyone cheered on. Rachel even said I sounded amazing during rehearsals, maybe I should try this out with Rachel instead, she's crazy about me anyway and Santana already has Brittany.

I thanked everyone and excused myself to go to the restroom, because I was suddenly unable to hold the tears any longer.

I went without thinking twice of closing the door but turned the faucet to let them know that the room was occupied.

When I started to crumble down in front of the mirror, I heard a gasp, I turned around to see her stunned face.

"Was that song for me?"

In hindsight, I should have not agreed on singing that mash-up with the God Squad, we should have stuck with a different song. I should have not sang the lead to that song, just like how I did with Stereo Hearts, when Finn requested it for Rachel on Wednesday.

***FLASHBACK***

I was actually surprised when Finn came into the Celibacy Club meeting, he looked like a lost puppy no matter how many times he had been there when we dated last year, but I couldn't really expect him to remember, he was never the attentive boyfriend anyway. So yeah, I was surprise he came in there and asked us to sing for Rachel, he said it will serve as an advance serenade for Valentines.

I accidentally told Rachel about this when I came late for our practice on a duet assignment that Mr. Schu gave us for Glee.

"He did what?" she squeak rather unpleasantly, not exactly what you'd expect from the crushing-the-quarterback girl, I was expecting her to squeal in joy, but then again she had been giving away subtle moves indicating that her sexuality is fluid, so yeah…there's that.

"Who's going to sing lead?" she looked at me so earnestly. I was a little taken aback, she knows I never liked having the spotlight on me when singing, especially not when she once told me I can do more with practice.

"Joe will. He's really great, think I'll invite him to join Glee, you know?" she nodded but kept her head low, seemingly interested with the print of her skirt.

I heard her mumble something incoherent. "What was that?" I asked, peering through her trying to catch her eye.

"uhm, I said, I thought it'll be nice to hear your alto sing a beautiful rendition of that song…" she whispered softly.

I chuckled at that, and I saw her head snap "Is there something funny from what I just said?"

I shook my head no and said "that was fairly long, from the small mumble I heard you said first."

She shook her head a little, "Thought you didn't hear me?"

"I didn't" I answered back. 

"Well, I actually asked, will you sing it?" and there were those earnest looking eyes. I can easily drown in them if I didn't really just see her as a friend.

"It's a boy's song Rach! I think having an alto sing that is reaching" she rather smiled at the endearment nickname rather than the usual _Berry_.

"Well, I love your voice, and I think you can do it justice if not sing it even better, just saying.." she confessed.

***End of flashback***

I should have thought about that well, and took that lead instead. I could handle love-struck Berry rather than how my heart breaks now with what happened with Santana. I feel even worse because I had practically sung to her a ballad.

We agreed to sing leads each time someone requests from us, and Joe and I were the ones left since Cedes and Sam took the first two and sang duets with each other on their turns.

Joe was the obvious choice for Finn to sing to Rachel, he must sense that me singing to Rachel is going to be weird and I didn't know Santana was going to request a song for Brittany just to piss Joe off about his faith and her requesting a song for a girl will throw him off.

"Was that song for me, Q?" she tried again.

I stared back at her through our reflections from the mirror pleading her silently not to ask me what I knew she'd ask.

"No, don't be silly" I scoffed, trying to be nonchalant about the whole thing. She wasn't buying it, I can see it in her eyes, but she nodded anyway and smiled at me.

"You sounded great, maybe next time we can work on a duet in Glee?" she beamed and I smiled back at her nodding softly.

She took my hand and dragged me out to go back to our friends "come on, they are waiting for us."

Once Santana and I were out the washroom, everyone seemed to have moved to the center and too eager to start dancing.

"There you are Quinn!" Rachel was the first to approach us when we got back to the table the others were still sitting at. 

Blaine made an appearance, which pleased Kurt immensely and they had an impromptu performance as well.

"I'm glad I was able to hear your song, why didn't you tell me you were singing here?" she looked a little upset and to play fair, she and I had been spending time together between classes and rehearsals, with the Celibacy club and I just didn't have the energy to tell her about exactly when _the_ performance is.

"I forgot, I guess?" I played coy and I think I saw her blush.

"It's okay, I was just glad Finn and I got in just before you started."

"I want to dance, let's go dance!" she shouted.

"Oooof!" she dragged me into the middle of the dance floor and started letting lose.

I saw Santana watch our mini banter, if you can call it that and she had that serious look on her face like she'd been wondering if us talking is really happening. Brittany and her shortly joined the rest of us while we dance the party away.

She shimmied her way near me and Rachel. "Hey hobbit, where's Finnept?" Rachel briefly looked at the pair and shrugged.

"Uhm…, somewhere?"

"Didn't you two come in together?" Santana asked her.

Rachel looked at me and just smiled.

"We did. But only because Sugar said the only ones who can come are those with a date."

"Oh, I thought after that serenade he requested for you from us, you were going on board with him? No?" I asked curiously.

"Well, while it was sweet of him to do that and come up to my house; for once; and asked both my dads to take me out on a date earlier...That's just about it!" Rachel answered with a shrug.

Santana was listening in to us and had the nerve to bark off of laughter, which made me and Rachel looked at her inquisitively.

"Something the matter Santana?" Rachel arched an eyebrow so perfectly I had to applaud her.

"Yeah, what's so funny S?" I mimicked with my eyes mock glaring.

"Nothing, not a thing. It's just that, just over a year ago you were fawning over him, which by the way was when he was still dating Quinn and now this?"

Santana said sarcastically and turned to me next, "And you!" she pointed.

"What happened? Did you forget about that?" Sanatana didn't wait for me to answer.

"Have you lost your mind? Because you and treasure trail here are practically latching on each other?" she eyed me vehemently.

There was no hogging or latching on each other like she acuse. In fact there's a feet or two between us and we were facing each other. There could be leaning in when one says something. I was just trying to have fun and Rachel was a great distraction.

Rachel was blushing furiously and was taken aback, looking back and forth between me and Santana. "Santana, we're not hogging each other and yes, I have forgotten about last year."

I felt the need to defend Rachel a little; besides, she looked helpless, like being caught up doing something off of motive. 

"Thank you Quinn" she turned to me, voice weaker than her usual chirpier mood.

"Think I'll just go to the bar and get some drinks." She excused herself even if it seemed like she didn't want to yet.

I nodded back at her and smiled a little. 

"I'll be right back at you in a bit, get me a water bottle?" she smiled at me and squeezed my hand, which didn't go unnoticed by Santana.

When she was out of earshot, I looked at Santana; she seemed to be just standing still beside me, while Brittany's dancing away with Mike, Sam and the others.

"Why did you say that to Rachel, you know we're friends now right?" I asked full of disappointment in my voice.

Santans just stared far away pass me and sighed. "I'm just being playful, she knows me. She shouldn't take it seriously...she..." she rambled.

I just had to smile, because it's starting to fluster her. I held her hand a little and smiled. "It's okay, I won't blab about you being a softy."

"I'm most definitely not. I'm badass!" she smirked back at me.

We just had to laugh a little there, to defuse whatever air of awkwardness there is. I started to gesture about getting on my way to Rachel when she reached back for my hand. She looked at me so deeply and smiled.

"I'm sorry, I'm just being possessive of my captain..." its the sincerest I heard Santana and I just had to smile back at her.

"You don't have to be, I'll always be your captain!" I winked at her playfully.

She barked out another boisterous laugh and tap my ass.

"Yeah, you wish Fabray!" I heard her call as I make my way away. 

"Sure, softy. Laters!"

And with that Santana went back to slow dancing with Britt and me on my way to the bar to Rachel.

She saw me coming and pushed Tina away from the bar. The Asian girl gave her a dirty look, Mike hot on his heels to stop his girlfriend.

"Here, I ordered you a cocktail" she said and gestured the glass with a mini umbrella on it.

"I hope sex in the sunset is okay?" she asked. 

The drink was pineapple with amaretto cherries concoction, I actually like this one.

"Oooh.. You know… I love myself some cherries" I winked at her taking out the cherry and popping it to my mouth while holding into the stock. 

You'd think I'm flirting with some guy with all that coquetry.

Rachel had a full blown giggle swatting my arm along the way. She was holding up my arm whilst pinching it a little.

"Quiiiiinnnnieee…" 

"Someone started drinking without me." I teased her. 

"You're kind of tipsy already, aren't you?" I asked. 

She blushed profusely and just giggled. I took her other hand and shook it.

"Well, you have to hold that off and wait for me" 

She just nodded and tucks a piece of her hair to her ear.

We were just drinking and laughing and there may have been a few friendly touches, the next thing I know, she was too close to me already I can practically smell her shampoo.

"Strawberries" I blurted out. 

"Huh? I'm sorry what?" she asked.

"Your hair smellsssss soooo good" I cooed.

She smiled and looked so red, I wasn't sure if it was because of the alcohol or her blushing. I came closer and sniffed her head and inevitably kissed her head, well more of my lips touched the top of it.

"I love strawberries, its scent, taste, how it looks like, I love them." I said. And the next thing I know is having her practically on top of me.

"Hey, you two! What are you doing?" Finn came in and interrupted our bantering.

"What did I tell about us coming here together?" Rachel asked whilst slurring. 

"Uh…" Finn thought. "I, I don't recall… you didn't say anything." Finn tried saying. 

"Exactly" she poked his chest and stared somewhat angrily at him. 

"There's nothing we should be doing. We just came in together, so shoo! Quinnie and I here are talking." Rachel was poking at him rather hardly.

Finn had that dumbfounded look in his face. "Rach" I took her hand, the one poking Finn and urged her to look at me, but she wasn't budging. 

"Hey, honey, look at me" and that seemed to have caught her eye. 

"Leave Finn alone, he's got it, he'll go now" I looked at Finn for confirmation.

"Aren't you going already, Finny boo?" and he smiled confusingly but nonetheless waved goodbye.

Rachel threw my hand away from her and faced the bar. My thoughts were _what was that about?_

"Hey Mr. Bartender!"

Rachel tried to get a bartender's attention to make her order.

I tried getting Rachel's attention, but it wqs obvious that she on full pledge ignoring me. I was wondering what has shifted or if I said something wrong to be in the receiving end of her avoidance.

"Hey, garçon!" she tried again; waiving her hand rather annoyed.

Finally a guy came and asked what she needed.

"Give me a stack of tequila shots please" she said with a haunting smile.

"Wait, what?" I asked. "Rach! Hey!" I shook her a little.

"What Quinn?!" she snapped.

I was a little shock that I didn't notice that I stepped off my chair. Rachel looked so hurt, tears welled her eyes.  _What did I do?_ I tried recalling our conversations and I couldn't put a finger on what made her this upset.

She stared at me willing her tears to not fall. "You still have feelings for Finn" she said, spatting the words at me. 

"You never got over Finn" she said rhetorically. 

I was speechless; this is why she's mad? I couldn't say anything back; I just stared at her unblinkingly.

My silence seemed to have answered all that she's thrown at me that Rachel started drinking the shots without hesitation. 

"Knew it!" she spat yet again.

"I…" I started; she looked at me with heated gaze. I swallowed, her gaze, it made me feel guilty to the gut and I don't even know what I am guilty about.

"I'm not" I started, "I…" a pause. 

"I don't have feelings for Finn anymore." I looked at Rach so earnestly, begging her to believe me.

She freaking scoffs. I stepped forward, closer to her, holding her face "I don't" I said so earnestly she shied away. I couldn't let her not know. She needed to know I am over Finn, it was so important for me at that moment for her to know that it's true. 

"Hey, look at me hon; I don't have feelings for Finn. Honest." I told her with a smile, because I can feel like I am getting to convincing her.

"Why would you think I still do, anyway?" I just had to ask.

"Because…" she spoke, voice so little, "you called him "Finnie boo"" she rambled incoherently.

"Like you used to, when you two were together" I laugh st that but was quick to appease her.

"Habit. That's all there is Rach. No need to worry." I told her and she smiled genuinely. 

"Besides, you don't have to worry about Finn and I. He is all yours honey." I added playfully.

She frowned and there it is again, my worry that I upset her, but for the life of me I don't know what it's about.

"It's…" she said. "It's not that." 

She took two tequila shots and handed the other to me. I took it and was to chug it down quick.

"A toast." she prompted, effectively stopping me.

"To you and I, Quinn! Cheers!" she winks before taking the shot like there's no tomorrow, I followed suite.

The night has blurred away to the rest of Mckinley Juniors, everyone eventually got too drunk to dance or even moved, it's going to be a mystery how most of us will find our way home.4

Thankfully the next day was a Saturday because Rachel was one of those who got so drunk last night. I end up bringing her to my house. My mum was surprised but was the every great hostess that she is and help assist Rach's drunken face.

"I didn't know you can dink that much, considering how little you are" was the first words I spoke to her when she opened her eyes. 

She was so wide eyed, I was afraid her eyeballs will drop off. She must be internally asking herself how she ended up in a bed that is most definitely not hers.

"You're in my room." I assured her. 

She slowly stirred on my bed and slowly held herself in a sitting position, she has that worried expression in her face, and it was so adorable.

"You begged to sleepover my place last night..." I tried to fill her internal questions, and I saw her face scrunch up in realization.

"Rach, you eventually have to say something, you know that right?" I walked toward the bed and sat across her. I tried to reach for her hand, she was still keeping her head low. 

"I didn't know where you live, Rach and Finn is nowhere to be found..." I tried again and she was just focusing on my sheets instead. 

"You were so drunk and whining so I eventually gave in and brought you here with me." I shook her arm a little and she looked back at me with those eyes.

"Kurt, he.." her voice got caught up somewhere and I was for a moment thrown off by her staring. "He was just as drunk and Blaine was trashed so I..." 

When Rachel finally met my eyes, it sas a little shy "so here you are now." I finished.

She lunged at me and hugged me so tightly. She took a deep breath and said "Thank you for not leaving my shit-drunk ass at the party, Quinn." 

"Well, a little bit of that was my fault." I helped ease her uneasiness. "I should've stopped those over pour of tequila shots"

She hugged me for another full minute before letting go and tried to hold my gaze again, but the whole situation is making me feel uncomfortable especially after all her drunken sly remarks from last night.

**Flashback**  
"Quii... Quinn... Quinnie... Swweeet, sweet Quinnniieee"

"Rach, stand straight please, my mum's coming back up here to bring water and aspirin" I scolded her because she kept on falling on her knees and knocking my furniture down.

"Have I ever told you how pretty you are? How beautiful? Like a goddess or maybe an angel?" She tried to stand straight and held my face in her hands and making pinching movements as if she was cooing at a baby.

"Rach, come on. Sit down" I forced the shorter girl down to bed. 

"I'll get you some clothes to change into so you can be comfortable when you sleep" I ran off to my closet to get my cheerios sweats.

She slumped on the bed and hit her head; I heard her curse and saw her face winced while she held the part where she hit the wall. I come up at her and touched her head. 

"I told you to stay still, didn't I?" I scolded, while I helped soothe the pain.

"You didn't!" she scrunched up. "You said, sit down and I did" she accused, but held my hand from where her head hurt. 

She held it while her thumb caressed the back of my hand. She pulled them away her head and brought it to her lips to kissed them and held it in her cheeks.

)"Thank you Quinn, for bringing me here" she said through her lips on my hand.

My mum knocked startling her that she threw my hands so fast "Quinnie, here's the aspirin and water for your friend..." my mum was a little curious but she didn't see that whole kissing my hand thing.

"Thanks, Rachel will drink it after she gets dressed." I looked at her and she nodded.

"I'll come out with you mum, so I can change in the hallway bathroom" we left Rachel alone and I didn't comeback until she was asleep.

**end of flashback**

I had to break the constant staring and told her breakfast is ready after she changed into another of my clothes and that I'll wait for her downstairs.

"I left you new set of clothes, you can use that in the meantime. Come down after so we can eat before I bring you home." Rachel smiled and said her thanks.

"Oh and I'll bring your clothes back this afternoon" she looked delighted at this "Mum had it washed first." I called before I went out of the room.

"Good morning Mrs. Fabray, Quinn.. Thank you for your hospitality last night..." my mum waved her off. 

"Nonsense honey, sit down and eat breakfast before you and Quinnie head home" she said all motherly.

"Thank you again and I am so, so sorry about my behavior last night...I..." she rambled once again and I just had to stop her this time.

"Don't worry about it Rach, you were an adorable drunk, so shush it and eat." I winked at her for good measure. It effectively shut her off and we ate silently

What was left of the weekend moved so fast, I slept for most of it after bringing Rachel home. Monday seemed to be another journey to take, but so long as I'm in highschool I have to suck it up.

Amazingly ny day stared out better than most days, like I was happy. We're back at school again and I was by my locker reading my phone because Rachel and I had started texting this morning.

To Quinn: Really, thank you for bringing me home Saturday and staying a little while longer… Xxs

We have been texting nonstop, well when I was awake at least. The truth is I have been enjoying the silliness of our textual exchanges. If I just knew that Rachel could be this fun a year ago, I wouldn't have been mean to her. Oh well, I'd work on that now.

To Quinn: Dad and Daddy were impressed with you, by the way. You know so much about Broadway and so many different genres of music. You were certainly amazing playing the piano, too. Why don't you play during Glee?

To Rachel: You ramble even in text, I'm impressed.

To Quinn: : (

To Quinn: You're making fun of me? It's just that there so much I have learned of you during the weekend.

To Rachel: That's a joke, Rach... ;)3

To Quinn: A wink and a heart huh?! I'm just really glad I get to know that side of you.

To Rachel: Tell you what; it'd be our little secret. See you in class.

I placed my phone inside the locker so I can freshen a bit up before heading to class, when a hand clasp on my locker door and simultaneously shutting it harshly and almost cutting my fingers off.

"Oh, I see you're still alive Q!" Santana spoke, and I nearly jump off my skin.

"Hello to you to S!" I said sarcastically "Thanks for not cutting my finger off!"

"Where have you been? I called you Friday, like a hundred times." She was livid.

"And the weekend?!" she stood there daring me to answer, tapping her foot impatiently. The nerve of this girl.

"I called your house and Judy said you were at a _friend's_ house?" she asked stressing on the word **friend** , like it was impossible.

I was a little put off; I don't know where these questions are coming from. So I just shrugged and tick off the questions Santana listed off.

"First, you called TWICE" emphasizing the number of times she did call. "The first time when you and Britt left me alone even though you were my ride. And the last one was when I was already home, which is technically is already Saturday." I stand my ground, how dare she ask these questions.

I didn't know how to say the next words but I pushed through it.

"And lastly, yes. I was with a friend." there was a little uncertainty in my tone masked with determination and Santana just had to dig deeper.

"Who is it? You don't have friends! Mercedes is not counted and I called her, you weren't there." she barked of which really did hurt my feelings a bit.

"I can't believe you!" I was furious with her, how dare she,right?! She left me, okay 'they' left me but I do have other friends, and it's not just her and Brittany.

I was about to leave when Santana grabbed my arm, softly this time. 

"Hey, Q..." she started to speak but I raised a finger to warn Santana to let me speak. It effectively kept her quiet and focused on what I got to say.

"Did you ask my mum whose friend I was at?" Santana shook her head. 

"Did you just call me Friday because you realized you left me at Breadstix?"

Santana just stared at me and I wished it was to say NO, but it screams YES.

"Britt-Britt was in a hurry, because Lord Tubb.." she started to speak, but I shook my head and raised a hand to stop Santana from speaking again.

"I was at Rachel's; she spent the night at home after the party. I didn't plan it, she was just so drunk..." I chuckled a little at the memory. 

"Joe was supposed to walk me home." I continued saying.

"It was all so blurry really, but Joe did still walk me home, with Rachel anyway."

Santana seemed to have more questions but she started off with the one that piques her interest most "Rachel slept at your place? Is that how you spend the weekend? With Rachel?"

"Yes" I answered.

"But I was calling you over the weekend, because I want to make up for leaving you Friday…" there, she admitted about leaving me, and the stupid tears decided to crowd my eyes.

Santana reached to wipe them away, but I turned my head.

"Santana, don't."

Santana was at the verge of crying too, could it be? Is the site of me crying breaking her heart too? Could she finally realize what she did to me?

"It's okay" I said, "I'm always going to be the third wheel between you and Britt and I'm okay with that, but I have friends too" I defended. 

"My life does not ONLY revolve between you and Britt."

I left Santana standing there speechless. I told her what she always knew, but refuse to acknowledge that I do have other friends.

As a matter of fact I am friends with all of the glee club; I was just very subtle about my friendship with them. For instance in their first weeks in the Cheerios, Mercedes, Kurt and I have been having our weekly Project Runaway afternoon reruns.

And in an attempt to learn another language, I spent some of my free periods with Mike and Tina learning Korean.

Artie and I share the student council club. The others, namely Sam, Finn and Puck were exes so technically we have some sort of friendship. Joe was from the God Squad.

And then there's Rachel... she and I... we... what? didn't really know how that friendship came about.

Santana must have realized it before I did; it was when Rachel and I had a duet. That sort of gave her the idea on how to make it up to me.


	2. Help you what?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the 2nd half of my rewrite of this story. I'm thinking it's more inclined to be Faberry. And more a Quintana friendship. Hope you'll like it.

I slumped to my seat; I am still early for my AP English class."Who goes to an AP class early?" I heard a voice asked from my back. It was Sam.

"You!" I laughed, "And yet you don't attend this class..." I was all giggles.

Sam laughed with me though I'm fairly certain that he noticed my tear streaked face. "I'm waiting for Mercedes" He answered and gestured to what looked like a box of chocolates and a small stuffed toy.

"Oooh! but why? V-day is already over…" I asked.

"Well, I didn't really have enough cash last week and the extra we got from what Mr. Motta paid us was what I used to buy this."

He was always one of the sweetest and nicest guys I have ever met. I smiled adoringly back at him and patted his arm.

"You were always the nicest, you know?" I smiled at him "I'm sure Cedes will love it. She sure loves sweets..." I added for good measure to assure him.

"Thanks Q, you're not so bad yourself" he winked at me. "Just don't stick around Santana so much, she might wear on you." That hit a nerve.

"Santana's nice to her friends…" I just had to defend her to Sam didn't I? Sam just nodded and looked through the door and waited for Cedes to come in. I wanted to explain to him that Santy can be nice too, if she wants to be, but I didn't want to appear too defensive of Santana.

"She's here." Mercedes came and Sam said his goodbye to me. I waved at the other girl and nodded my head to Sam.

"Quinn! Quinn!" I heard that damn voice again.

"Where have you been?" the girl asked sounding more harsh than the phrase intended for.

"Mostly home during the weekend, why?" I questioned the girl's fake innocent face. 

"Who did you hang out with?" and then there was a staring match.

I shrugged it off "A friend, none of your business, actually."

"So, you hang out with my woman and tell me it's not my business?" was spat back at me.

"You were always a home wrecker when you're not being a cheater." the words just kept on coming.

"What are you talking about Brittany?" I raised my voice enough to have a bite in it. She stood straight matching my glare if not more. The other girl cowered and said something that just made my blood boil even more.

"Santana is mine. When are you going to get it? She's with me." It might still hurts, but I've already accepted that.

"Nobody is taking her away from you Britt." I told her calmly. "Why don't you just leave and get the gym ready." I ordered her, being a captain has its perks.  
I didn't want to be mean, I know that I can hurt Britt with my words; it has always been my weapon. But I have to hold them all in, we were after all friends before this entire Santana situation started. Besides, I never really like that make 'em go home crying situation, it's so cruel.

Britt made an I'm watching you gesture towards me and I just arched my eyebrow at her. "Now, Brittany." I ordered again.

Britt left and I noticed a few people had already pooled to watch us, though I was certain we were quiet enough for them to hear, what made it intriguing is the stares and gestures.

Rachel was already sitting on the chair beside me, "What was that Qui..." I turned to her and shook my head mouthing nothing.

Then Santana came in and had to take the seat to my other side. Santana side bumped me "We okay, Q?"

When I didn't answer, Santana spoke again "I'm sorry about earlier. I didn't mean it." Santana began and I just nodded, truth is, I can't stay mad at the girl, I can't even be mad at her for what Brittany did.

"Let's talk later." I whispered she just smirk her acknowledgement. Santy was looking smugly at Rachel when I started scribbling notes on my pad.

"Sure, Q." she stretched her left arm at my shoulder and whispered in my ear without batting her eyes at Rachel. She looked straight at her when she spoke her next words.

"And Quinn, I want to sing a duet with you in glee." 

Rachel saw the slight tint of red on my cheeks. That was confirmation enough for Rachel to know that Santana is already forgiven on whatever argument we just have and that the Brittany take down was not even accounted for.

Rachel looked to be heartbroken at this. She must have wondered how I can so foolishly be in love with a loathing, gloating and self-obsessed girl.

The class went relatively fast. Rachel swept her feelings aside, so she can concentrate, but I'm making it impossible by constantly teasing about her drunken state on Saturday and Santana's constant glaring.

When class was over, I looked at Rachel and helped pick her books. "Why do you carry all your books around Rae?" I asked.

"I mean you pick what's for your next two classes and leave the others behind. Get them back when you need it and then keep the ones you've already used." I chuckled and Rachel had to blush.

I didn't know if it was because I laughed, or because she was shy because I helped carry her books, could it be because of another nickname used? I sure can rile this girl up, it was cute.

"Rae?" I peeked from where Rachel had her head low. 

"I want carrying them around, it was easier than going back and forth from the locker." she explained.

"Plus it makes lesser risks at running in another slushie attack"

I had to bit my lip at that, Santana saw how I winced at what Rachel said. I'm sure Santana knew how I regret ever being cruel to the members of the glee club, especially Rachel because she has been the nicest to me when we joined the glee club.

"Rae..." I started to speak but Rachel shook her head and was smiling goofily at me.

"What they're doing now is not your fault Quinn" the girl stated. "Besides, you had your share of slushies when you joined Glee, though I don't think being slushied harmed your being beautiful!" I barked out laughter at this.

Santana is wondering what that exchange was about. Did I buy that silly pick-up line? Was I flattered? Sure, I'm aware of how I look, but I am still insecure about my past that I rarely want to be noticed.

"Again with this thing." I addressed Rachel sweetly, like we have a secret. And Santana senses it, but for the life of her can't figure.

"Ugh, the two of you nauseate me." she made gagging actions. "Come on Q, we have to discuss our duet babe!" she held on my arm and dragged me out of the room.

I can only smile and say a quick goodbye to Rachel, but not without giving Rachel a peck on the cheek.  
Then Santana dragged me out, I don't understand what can't wait for us to get out of the classroom, break is next on our schedule so I had enough time to have a decent talk with Rach.

"What's the rush S?" I chuckled and this seemed to rile Santana up even more. "Well, I don't like when Rachel is making cow eyes at you." she bit her lip like she wasn't supposed to say that.

"You're way out of her league." she followed up when I arched an eyebrow.

"Well, so what S?" I asked trying to see her reaction.

I'm sure it's not jealousy because I know that Santana hates Rachel, so what?

"She's nice and I can totally tap that." no need to hide being bi or gay to Santana, it should serve her to know I swings that way too. How else can I get Santana to choose me, right?

"Eew Quinn." Santana grimaced at her, okay that may have been the wrong words to say, I contemplated. 

Not only did I gross Santana, I also deliberately used Rach to make a point. I felt guilty at that. I did like Rachel, just not in that sense, not when I'm in love with someone else.

Santana snapped her fingers in front of me. "Come on; let's go find Mr. Schue to discuss our number."

Santana grabbed my hand and we went to find our Glee teacher, hand in hand.

Santan was dragging and pulling without stopping and I just kept bumping with the students at the hall.

"Will you please chill?" I halted and it effectively stopped Santana from dragging me around.

"Come on, there's only a few minutes left of our break and we need to catch Mr. Schue" she whined.

Truth be told, I haven't even agreed to us singing yet. We were still have to discuss it.

"Does Britt even know we're doing this?" I asked.

That seemed to have caught her attention. "No, I was going to tell her after."

I urged her to continue, I knew just how she's panning for this to play out.

"I was going to tell her Mr. Schue wanted us to sing together." She didn't even bat her eyes.

"Sure, make it look like you were forced to sing with me." I just knew it; she wouldn't even admit it to herself.

"Quinn, you knew Britt and I are not on a very steady state right now..." she started to explain. "I didn't want her to get the wrong idea; I didn't want her going after you." She rebutted.

"And you think that if it appeared to be an assignment, she would understand?" I asked with a tinged of sarcasm, which she didn't seem to catch up on.

"Yes, exactly! And you and me gots to have time together, unscathed." she beamed, like she was proud of herself.

Hearing her say these makes me wonder, what's so wrong with this person? Has she always been this evil? This selfish?

"First of, that's YOU AND I, and second, wow San. JUST WOW!" I bit back.

"Could you even be more dense?" I asked. And she looked taken aback, friggin hurt, like a kicked puppy. How dare her?

"Look Santana, I'm not one to sing duets all the time in Glee" I tried to make sense to her.

"But if you really do want to sing with me…" she looked to be waiting for what I'll say next.

"Ask me again next time, when you really are willing to and you need not ask anyone's permission, except maybe Mr. Schue" I continued and she seemed to be paying attention to me.

"Though, you never really needed that permission from him anyway."

I was on my way back from where we walked, thinking I could still find Rachel but Santana caught up with me and reached for my arm. I kept walking but she tried again and just walked beside me instead. She kept quiet until we reached the backyard cafeteria. I spotted Rachel not too far away and I was going to go sit with her when Santana tried and stop me again.

"What is it Santana?" I asked a bit frustrated with the Latina. 

"But you sang with Rachel weeks ago and ever since then…" she paused, urging me to say something. 

"Because she asked me to, after that whole nose surgery thing that happened." I reasoned. Not that it's any of Santana's business what I do with my life, but at least Rachel had the decency to really ask me to sing with her, albeit my voice range far off from hers, she wanted me, unlike her, who only wanted my attention, all of it.

"It's not just that and you know it, Q!" she said maliciously. "That dwarf likes you." She said reprovingly "She's only making excuses to get close to you." Santana said that as if it's malicious.

"And that's so bad because?" I asked her confused as to what makes that so wrong.

"She has a motive, Quinn. She wants to be your friend" she said that as if it was to explain whatever twisted story she has on her mind. "And I actually feel sorry for her, because she was falling prey to your viciousness, I know you'll drop her once you get your status back at the top." she said obnoxiously and I just had to stop her, I shook her arm around mine and grabbed hers forcefully.

"Hey, you listen to me, Rachel is my friend. She actually was more here for me than you and Brittany ever did since high school started, so just get away from me." I shook her and left her standing by the doorway stunned.

She stormed after me and stood in front "Q!" she said stopping me from walking pass her. "I'm sorry, I know what I said isn't true." she said calmly this time. "It's just that I miss you, you've been spending so much time with the rest of them and none with me and Britt." She confessed. "No, I and You time." She air quoted I and You and I just had to laugh. "It's 'you and I'" I said back air quoting it.

Santana seemed to have thought we're okay again to sing that duet she so wanted to happen. "I was thinking we can sing Landslide" she hooked her arm around mine and sat me at the nearest empty table available.

I saw Rachel looked at us and she looked to be expecting my approach, but her face felt when Santana was successful with her goal. When we were sat at the table, Santana brought out plastics of food in front of me including a Tupperware full of strawberries, she even had a can of whip cream out. I was impressed.

"Are you afraid there's going to be an apocalypse happening?" I asked, she just gave me a half smirk.

"I asked mama her recipe for that quesadillas that you like so much" she started "Nana gave me her tamales recipe too, and I remembered how you love those, that one picnic you stayed with us, so I made so too" she continued saying, and she looks so sincere, so relaxed and so proud of her, it actually made my heart skip. "Lastly, I know how you love strawberries." She said with a wink.

"Isn't this something you should be sharing with your girlfriend?" I asked. She stopped and looked at me earnestly.

"You are my girlfriend." She beamed, and I blushed, dammit. I felt my cheeks burning, she smiled and said "You're a girl and my friend." And just like that, the smile vanished from my face. "My best friend and come to think of it, that's better!" she quickly appended. I let it go, I can't be delusional about us happening anyway.

When she was done putting out all of the food, she handed me my plate complete with all she brought, including side chips.

"Thanks"

She smiled at me "anything for my captain."

We ate in silence, all thoughts of catching Rachel gone from mind.

We spend all of lunch together, she even walked me to my next class and she promised to come see me before we head to the gym.

After all the classes were done and we're headed for practice, as we enter the gym laughing at something we saw in the hall, Brittany was already there and she was livid.

"What the fu" she started but Santana kissed the curse away.

"Hi babe" she said cooingly to Britt and that effectively cooled the other girl down.

"What took you so long babe?" she asked a little loudly, making me hear the endearment.

"Quinn and I just got out of our last class." the Latina shrugged.

"Figures." Brittany gave me the stink eye.

"I'm sorry what did you mean?" I asked her. 

"Figures you'd lure me to do all the work here so you can spend alone time with my girlfriend" she commented.

"Britt, let's face it, you never go to class" I said matter-of-factly while folding my arms.

"When you do, even? You'll find an excuse to leave."  
She just stared dumbly back at me, no retort whatsoever "wonder how you even passed all those subjects" I mumbled.

"What was that?" she asked and I just shrugged, that was a low comment, despite her possesiveness over Santana.

"Everyone get ready. Places!"

I called out and everyone scurried and lined up. The routine was a little provocative, Santana, Brittany and I are at the center per usual and some of the routine required physical contacts with each other. It would have been hot, but since we're in this situation it felt rather awkward. Though, I don't think the audience (at the gym) noticed because we execute it perfectly, of course.

Practice went along fine except from all the flirting Brittany and Santana was making in between breaks. At one point, they decided to even have a quick make out sesh. That made me a little sick. I kept thinking about how Santana was during lunch and turn around and flirt with Britt.Right, I was just her friend. Of course she is the perfect girlfriend to Britt. I just assumed earlier meant something more.

I called off practice and promised them an early one next time. I decided to let everyone hit the showers first, I never really like showering with everyone else in there, especially with my two best friends together, sometimes sharing a cube, doing god knows what.

While waiting for everyone to get ready, I decided to check my phone to make time pass. I got several texts from my mom, one from Tina and a voicemail from Rachel. I decided to go read over mom's messages first.

Mom: Honey, I'll be home late, left money at the counter for your dinner. (4:00 PM)

Mom: I'm really sorry; they wanted me to get more hours in to cover those who didn't make it to the later shift. (4:30 PM)

Mom: Really busy, anyway, love you honey will make it up on the weekend. (5:00 PM)

My mom still feels guilty about leaving home during freshmen year, she would always insist on us having dinner all the time permits us to and spend weekends bonding, especially when we both don't have work or practice. I typed in a reply as I saw Britt approach me.

Quinn: No problem mom. I'll leave a plate for you. I 3 U too. (5:30 PM)

I had a smile on my face because it just makes me so happy that my mom and I are becoming closer and closer. Who knew we'd be like this. My dad leaving made us cling onto each other.

Brittany stopped in front of me; towering over me, I looked at her with a raised eyebrow. She just stood there, staring at me.

"What, Britt?" I finally asked sighing.

"Stop coming after Santana, Quinn." She demanded. "When are you going to get it?" she asked. I didn't answer right away, taken aback at her abruptness.

"She's just being nice to you because she didn't want you to feel left out." She explained.

"I don't want to make her choose between us, Q." she paused; we both know who'll she take. "She'll choose me" she taunted, it was like putting salt into a wound.

"I'm not coming at her" I said honestly.

"Please…" she rolled her eyes. "Santana loves me and she wants to be with me" She dug deeper. "She is only pissed that you and Berry are always together, she so told me."

"That's" I started to speak, but it got caught in my throat. "Santana and I were friends first" I pulled that card on her, it seemed desperate, but I had to believe that's not the only reason Santana has.

"That's all you ever are going to be. Face it Q, we're a couple now." She said softer this time. 

"If I were you, I'd stay away, so I don't get hurt." She spoke with finality just as Santana was approaching.

Santana kissed Brittany's cheek, "Hi Cap!" she was about to side bumped me "You reek! Why haven't you showered yet?" she asked.

"I…" I hurriedly took my things and throw it in my duffel bag. "was about to.." I can feel myself tearing up again, what the hell is wrong with me? I should stop pining over Santana.

"Yeah, get your butt in that shower and wash your filth away!" Santana teased.

"See you around." I mumbled and scurry away.

As I got into the shower I rushed to open the valves, cold water splashing angrily at me. I cried soundlessly, trying to stifle it because a few girls are still lingering around. The pain in my chest was so strong; I don't even have the energy to stand up. I need to face the fact that Santana and Brittany will be forever and I will just be the best friend, and maybe nonexistent as time pass by.

I tried to move quickly after feeling my body trembling from the cold, I rushed to get ready to meet Tina for my Language class, but when I got to our usual room, she and Mike weren't there. I remembered Tina's text and it explained why I was met by an empty room.

Tina: Quinn, I'm sorry Mike and I had dinner plans with our parents. We'll do double hours next session. Promise.

I typed in a response and took a seat first, all that crying and cold water and the rush to get to this place took the wind out of me.

Quinn: Alright Tina, have a great time. Wish I brought my car, I thought I was going to get a ride with you, but that's okay, enjoy dinner.

I took some time to collect myself, thought about how to go home, everyone I know are gone by now. I checked my phone again, to text my mom to say I'd wait for her. Before tpying in a text, I saw the voicemail Rachel left. Rachel's voice beamed cheerfully at the other end.

Rachel: Quinn! Hi, saw you at cheer practice, as usual, you were ho-uh-wesome.. erm (clears throat). Anyway, Dad was wondering if you'd like to join us for dinner at Lima bean. He didn't have anyone to discuss contemporary literature with so he asked if you want to come. Call me?

I listened and can't help but smile at hearing her little slip; did she watch the routine practice? I know for a fact that the boys will ogle at us, but did she too?

I was distracted for a minute and I kind of liked the idea of spending some time with people that can cheer me up, so I decided to call Rachel back and ask if the offer still stands.

Rachel: Quinn?

Quinn: Hi Rae! I'm at school, can you pick me up?

"I'll be right there." That's what Rachel said when I called her, she asks where I was, I was still at school and it's conveniently closer to her house.

"Stay put. I'll come and get you, dear." I sat by the footsteps at the back of school, it's almost lockdown and I was one of the few students left at school. I decided to wait for Rachel outside.

I kept repeating what she said, how she said it and how it's making me feel now. I'm feeling a bit nervous waiting for her. I didn't even know why I told her to pick me up, sure I would eventually need to ask for someone get me, since there are no school buses anymore, but for the life of me, I don't understand why I didn't initiate any conversations first, and just blurted "pick me up" to her.

I guess part of why was because with Rachel I can be who I am without asking or begging her to like me. She already does, and I do with her. She cares about me, about being happy and safe. I felt that from her, so I guess it was a blessing in disguise that she wanted me to come with her dads, although right now, I'd much prefer if it were just us. I teared up again, overwhelmed all about Rachel, but it didn't feel weird at all.

I wiped the lonesome tear that escaped my eye when I saw Rachel pulled over in front me. She smiled blindly at me, or was it the sunset reflecting her smile? It made her looked like an angel, she waved at me and my heart started pounding nervously. She stepped out of the car as I was walking towards her.

"Let me help"

"You didn't have to…" we looked at each other and laughed.

"You didn't have to get out of your car anymore" I told her completely this time.

"I wanted to help you gather your things, looks a lot." She offered to get my duffle bag.

"Thank you." I handed her my bag not missing to linger my hold on her hand too. I gave her petite hand a little squeeze before letting go and going around the car towards the passenger's seat.

"Rae, thank you so much for coming to get me." I told her with all sincerity, she just smiled at me and continued to drive.  
"I..."

"Yeah?" she asked.

"Uhm, nothing, are we headed to Lima Bean now?" I asked.

"We still have an hour before dinner, so, we can totally just go someplace else." She suggested.

"You look like you needed a place to release a breath" she added.

I just stared straight ahead, nodding my head. "Yes, I actually need that."

"Where do you want to go Quinn?" Rachel asked, focused on the road ahead. I don't know where she's headed to but I just didn't have a place in mind, I just thought Lima Bean was the destination, until she suggested otherwise.

"I have an idea, I hope you'll appreciate it, but first a stopover." She said rhetorically. I just nodded and smiled. Reaching for her hand this time, I gave it another squeeze and just held her hand until she needed to shift gears.

I can feel my face heat up, I felt conscious that Rachel might notice and when I looked by mistake, she's blushing as well. Must be the hand holding.

"I hope this is okay?" I held our joined hands up, indicating the gesture and she cleared her throat.

"Er, Yes, of course it's fine," she assured with a smile, she had our fingers intertwined to give emphasis.

We stopped over a diner a little over outside town; she turned to me and unlinked our hands to turn the engine off.

"Do you want anything? I want to surprise you, but if you want anything I'll get it as well." She looked at me questioningly, and I shrugged.

"I'll wait to be amazed right here" I said cheekily. She smiled and leaped off the car.

I didn't realize that my heart is racing until Rachel got in the diner. Why am I suddenly feeling like a teenage boy? I think I know at some level that Rachel might have a little crush on me, but am I crushing on her too? Could it just be because I am overwhelmed with emotions right now? I shouldn't be agonizing over this; I should just be having a good time with my friend. She didn't deserve to be strung along my mess of emotions for Santana right now.

Rachel got out of the huge doors with loads of bags of food and I jumped off the car to help her.

"Did you leave anything for the people in this town?" she laughed at my attempt of a joke, but seriously, there are mounds of food.

"I figured you must be hungry after today's practice…" she explained.

After loading the food at the back of the car, she drove again. "Please tell me where were going." I turned to her and she just smiled at me and shushes me.

"Come on Rae… Tell me" I poked at her cheek playfully. She just giggled and shook her head.

"Na-ah, sit properly baby, we'll get there." she said to me like I was a child.

"Baby huh?" I teased.

She blushed profusely; "because it's like asking 'are we there yet' like those baby kids do" she defended. I held her hand again and it was ice cold.

"Are we there yet mommy?" I asked teasingly again, she just looked at me and stuck her tongue out.

She drives a few minutes more and slowed down into an unkempt pathway "I knew it! I should have sent my mom a GPS tracker of where I am." I told her mock scared.

"Is this where you'll throw my body?" she looked at me with horror.

"God No!" she shrieked. 

"I thought we were friends Rae?" I asked her keeping up the charade.

"Oh my God, I'm so sorry Quinn; let me turn the car around." She started the car again and I stopped her.

I looked at her and she looked like she lost all the color of her face. "Rae, I was just teasing you." I told her softly this time.

She had her head down and looked about to cry. I felt guilty as hell. I was just trying to kid around, why did I have to screw this up?

"I wouldn't do anything to hurt you." She said after a few minutes of just being quiet, she was still refusing to look at me. I held her chin up, and looked straight into her eyes.

"I know Rae, and it's me. I'm the jerk." I said with contempt. She shook her head.

"You're too much of a gentle woman to be one."  
We shared a few moments, just looking at each other, until I leaned in and she slightly moved back as I steal a kiss at her cheek.

It kind of hurt me that she got scared that I'll do something to her, so I just smiled and whispered I'm sorry and Thank you.

\- - - - -  
Rachel's safe place was breathtaking. We trekked the path going to a manmade pond, there was a picnic table with wooden benches attached to it.  
There was a small cabin too; it looked as if it is a vacation house of some sort. Rachel moved in the place with precision. She knew the which drawers to open to get all necessary items we needed for our impromptu picnic. It was like she didn't just sneak in here whenever she needed to.

"Does your family own this place?" I asked curiously.

Rachel nodded, "My dads wanted a place where we can go on picnics when I was still a little girl, not everyone in Lima was so open to see two gay dads raise a child." She said dejectedly.

"I'm sorry to hear that" I told her, "it must be hard for you to have gone through that" I added.

She just smiled and shook her head "No, it was okay. I mean, I love the exclusivity of it."

I was waiting for her to say something else, but for a few minutes neither one of us were speaking, she was just preparing the table, refusing me to help. She thinks I should just save the little energy I have left after practice. I took privilege of that.  
We ate in silence; I noticed that she got all my favorites, even bacon. I'm thinking "dinner" with her dad now will not be happening.

Rachel got the entire vegetarian version of my food but she didn't lecture me about my food choices.

"I hope you're enjoying your meal Quinn." She said earnestly.

"Isho goo-ood, Waech" I said chewing on my food. I smiled and finished off the food in my mouth and tried again "It's so good. Thank you Rachel".

She beamed back. "I got you a strawberry cheesecake and their secret menu of a milkshake." Rachel said while handing the them to me.

I sipped on the milkshake and I instantly liked it.

"Mmm" taste like strawberries. She sniggered and I wrinkled my forehead "How is strawberry milkshake a secret menu?" its only the ever staple milkshake of all time, by the way. She just giggled some more.

"See, that's not just strawberries. It has fresh orange juice and Greek yogurt and instead of cow's milk, it has soy milk" she said proudly. I didn't miss how she scrunched up on the "cow" part of it all.

"It's my signature drink!" she added.

"You mean it's your favorite from their menu?" I clarified.

"Nope!" she said popping the P sound. "I asked the waiter then to make me a vegetarian version of a milkshake and they said they don't have one yet." she started narrating.

"I asked if they had any strawberries and oranges and maybe a yogurt," she continued. "It was too complex for their cook then, and they asked me to come on back and make it myself. So I got everything that I can work with and made these goodies." she finished with a sip of her own drink.

"Well cheers to that cheffy" I picked up my drink and clinked cups with her. 

She smiled back all smug. "Why thank you".

After eating everything that I could, I told her to just sit still and I'll clear everything else because I am now pumped up with energy, she gladly obliged and watched me move around the kitchen.

When I was done, she was sat at the living room by the fire and I sat on her side leaning my head to her shoulder, snuggling closer. She stiffened a little until I felt her ease in and laid her head atop mine.

"Can I ask you something?" she asked only above a whisper. I nodded but she still didn't continue until I said yes.

"What's going on with you and Santana?"

How do I answer that? What did she mean by what's going on between San and I? I tried to carefully compose what I'll say, without giving away anything at once.

"And then there's that whole thing with Brittany too?" she added as an afterthought when I didn't answer right away..

"Hmm. You know how the three of us are best friends? We are just having our moments." I said dismissively.

She nodded; we were facing each other now, but bodies still close. It looked like she wanted to say something more; we were just looking at each other until she averted her eyes back to the fire. I can see faint freckles below her eyes as the light from the fire reflected on her face.

"It looks like there's more." she looked at me searchingly.

"You don't necessarily have to share." She placed her hand on top of mine "But if you want to talk about anything, you can talk to me."

I smiled and shook my head. How do I tell a friend, anyone for that matter, that I have feelings for someone who is already in a relationship? How does it not make me the worst person in the world for pining on an unavailable person?

She had an encouraging smile on her face, it made me feel like she will be accepting of whatever it is that I have to say, she shook my hand and told me that I can take my time, if I need to.

"I have feelings for Santana."

I blurted in a hurry together with a sneeze. She scrunched up her forehead, unsure if she heard me right. She started laughing. Like one of those boisterous ones.

I paled at her expression; placing my now free hands covering my face. "I'm a big joke. I know."

I didn't mean to cry just as much as I'm sure Rachel didn't mean to laugh. I was only trying to hide the embarrassment from my face when I suddenly started feeling tears prick my eyes and torrents of emotions as my eyes begin to flood.

I heard Rachel's laughter died down, or did I drown it with my stifled cries? She wrapped her arms around me, and rocked me while humming a lullaby. I melted into her arms, angling so I can hold onto her tightly, burying my face to the nook of her shoulder.

She hummed that song we rehearsed at glee, what was that song again? Oh, Keep Holding On, was it?

"It's okay Quinn; I'm here to for you." She was rubbing my back.

"Cry it out if you must, and then later, we'll talk." She continued to shush me, wiping blond tresses out of my face.

"It's going to be okay my dear."

I stayed cradled in her arms until the cries have died down. She just rocked me back and forth and hums songs to keep me calm. When she thought I was asleep except from the quieter sobs, she took my face into her hands and wiped the excesses of tears.  
She looked at me lovingly and almost impressed? I quirked an eyebrow at her and wondered why.

"What?" I asked.

"How can someone still look gorgeous after crying buckets of tears, your make-up didn't even run!" She said in disbelief.

I blushed at this because how does anyone get used to gushing comments? I know I'd never do.

"Rachel" I started, like scolding a child. "My make-up is mac, it has to stay intact. I am a cheerleader of course, I should never look my worse" I said in cheer type and clapped my hands together towards the end.

"Witty." She ticked her tongue and slightly shoved me back.

"Uhuh!" I agreed.

There were a few more bantering; I'm guessing she wanted to have the tension die down before she plunges in with her questioning.

"So" she drawled the syllable, "You love Santana huh?" she asked.

"I didn't say love…" I defended and she raised her eyebrow challengingly at me.

"No, you didn't." she agreed. "But you did say you have feelings."

"Okay, I did." A pause, "but it could be that I hate her?" I laughed at my attempt to save myself from further humiliation.

"I" I sighed and inhaled.

"I…"

"You have feelings for her" she supplied. I nodded.

I pursed my lips, trying to compose how to say it. "I don't know how it started." She was just waiting for me to patiently proceed.

"Just that one day, I have all this feelings for her." I tried to recall how it all began and so I told Rachel how.

**FLASHBACK**

After one of the first victories of the year for the football players, Puck decided to throw a party.

"Alright! Gather around pitches!" Santana shouted at the crowd of horny football players and flirty cheerleaders.

"We are going to do this, randomized style." She ordered.

"Randomized?" one of the other cheerleaders asked.

"Yes Naomi, randomized." She said sarcastically. 

"I'll chose who goes first, he/she will do whatever I think of" she had an evil smirked in her face. 

"7 minutes in heaven, truth or double dare, saints and sinners…yada yada"

"That's scary" one football player said.

"Amazing actually" Brittany commented.

"To make it more fun, if it's a 2 for 1 action, you spin the bottle to choose who to do it for/with/to" she added.

"That's right Britt" I confirmed and everyone tensed a little after.

"Does the person who did something get to choose who goes next?" I asked and Santana nodded her yes.

"Okay, let's start." She scanned the people around and focused on Rachel.

"Hobbit! Lick salt off of Finns belly button" Rachel made a face but does it otherwise, suffice to say Finn ran towards the nearest restroom to do god knows what.

Rachel who looked like she was controlling her gag reflex focused on Mercedes "Cedes, hit Kurt's face with cherry pie." 

Kurt, that poor kid had horror all over his face but brazen up "Bring it on!" he said.

Everyone had a laugh out of it and then when he had wiped most of the pie off his face turned to Santana.

"Santana" he said seriously. 

"I think I deserve a double hit on this one, why don't we up this game up a bit huh?" he dared the Latina and knowing Santana, she pretended to consider it and nodded her confirmation.

"Anything to make this more fun." She said.

"1st. I want you to say your truth and then follow it up with a double dare." He said, testing the water.

Santana just waited looking bored. "Go on." She said.

"Who would you like to kiss more among your best friends?" Kurt asked and Santana was shell shocked.

"Quinn or Britt" he clarified. Both Britt and my attention was caught up, seemed unfair, but that is the rule of the game everyone is to participate.

"Brittany S. Pierce" she answered in confidence, sure that's fine, but I felt a little humiliated.

"I'm sure you're going to ask me to kiss or something, so go on… what's the dare?" she asked rather impatiently.

"For your double dare" Kurt had an evil smirk on his face, we all knew how twisted he can make this up and everyone was at the edge of their seats.

"Quinn and Santana, go have your 7 minutes in heaven." He ordered.

I literally paled at this. I was looking at Kurt as if saying what the hell? He just shrugged and mouthed sorry.

End of Flashback

Rachel was making a face, much like the one she had that night at the party. I had to suppress my laughter because this is a serious matter and we weren't actually focusing on her, so I decided to leave the teasing at another time.

"But Santana said nothing happened." She asked a little expectantly.

"I mean, I remembered her looking for Britt when you got out and begged her to believe nothing happened." She elaborated.

I remember that night fatefully. It was one of the worst and most unforgettable as well.

"I was at the den when Santana came out looking for Brittany." She started telling what she witnessed.

"I was there and she looked for her." I was just listening intently. All I remembered was smeared lipsticks and the butterflies in my stomach, but Rachel saw what was on the sidelines, something that I needed to hear.

"Brittany was livid and was crying" Rachel continued. 

"She was accusing Santana to having enjoyed that '7 minutes' with you." She paused, thinking of how to say the next words.

"She accused Santana have always wanted to catch a score with you." 

I contemplated on whether I'd want Rachel to continue still with the story or to just cut her out and just have the memory I have with me instead. I decided to let her continue instead and she obliged.

"Santana said she only sees you as a friend and that kissing you was just to uphold her reputation."

Rachel said the next words more quietly "She said that kissing you meant nothing, like kissing a sister. There were no butterflies, it was not special." Rachel tried to reach for my hand and I was just too stunned to shake them away, so I let her.

There were tears forming in my eyes again, I took my time in calming my aching heart. I looked at Rachel "Well, it had a different effect on me, unfortunately."

She nodded her understanding, she held out her arm, trying to comfort me by patting my shoulder.

"Santana has been doing stuff like insisting in a duet. Bringing me lunch and stuff."

"Why has she been doing that?" Rachel asked.

"She…" I started but decided to not say it's because of Rachel, herself.

"Brittany had been terrorizing me emotionally." I changed topic.

"She has?" Rachel asked disbelievingly.

"Said I should stay away from Santana. And that they were end game…" I explained with a scoff.

"Are you going to?"

I raised my eyebrow at her questioningly.

"Going to stay away from Santana." she clarified.

"I think I have to." I confirmed.

"Will you help me?" I meekly asked.

"Help you what?" she questioned back.

"Stay away from her…" my voice broke, finally giving up.

"Anything for you, Quinn." she smiled and gave me a hug which I returned it.

After a few minutes, we pulled away, staring at each other's eyes. I dropped my eyes looking at her parted lips. When I averted my sight towards her staring eyes, it captivates me. There were so much love in her eyes, it just feels overwhelming.

I leaned in, capturing her lips in mine. I pecked at it a little longer. She was holding her breath at first and sighed after a few seconds. We pulled away from each other, but her eyes were still closed, but her she had a smile on her lips.

"Thank you, Rachel." I whispered.


End file.
